Introduction to Personal Development

Introduction

Personal development is a very large topic. At the Marstan Group, we concentrate on the development of skills which will help you in your management career, whether that be in business management, change management or project management.

However, there is no doubt that developing the right skills has a profound effect on your productivity, confidence and demeanour. In other words, personal development for your professional life has a positive effect on your personal life too, resulting in less stress and greater fulfilment.

Working towards your definition of success

People have widely varying definitions of success. At one extreme there is fame and fortune, where both personal wealth and wide recognition are essential to make the person feel fulfilled. At the other extreme is the person who leads a quiet life with modest means. Both are perfectly legitimate ways of living your life, as is any method between these two extremes.

It is becoming increasingly difficult to divide life into “home” and “work”, thus triggering the need to find a home/work “balance”. It has, perhaps, never been possible to separate things clearly, but with longer opening times for most businesses and the ready availability of electronic and telephonic communications, it is even more important to look at managing your whole life, rather than a series of distinct compartments.

Whatever your personal definition of success, there are certain fundamental laws which, when obeyed, deliver success, fulfilment and happiness.

In order to tap into these resources, it is important to understand what you need to do, why you need to do it and use and develop a small number of core skills.

The three areas of your life

We all have 24 hours each day, but how we choose to use them varies dramatically from person to person.

The simple fact is that all parts of our lives are connected. Most people work to provide the means to support their family and enjoy themselves. This does not mean that work is devoid of pleasure and fulfilment, but we should note that it is more of a “must do” than a “want to do”.

So what are the three main areas of our lives?

1. Home life – leisure and relationships
2. Work – providing a living and fulfilling potential
3. Maintenance – the things you need to do to maintain your physical and mental health.

Each of these items needs planning, action and time.

What would you really like to do?

A little bit of self analysis is essential to find out what you really want to do. There is not enough time to become involved in everything, so it is well worth giving some thought to what really matters to you; both personally and professionally.

1. What do you regret not doing at the moment?
2. Is your career as you would like it to be? If not, what would you change?
3. What are your skills? Are you using them to the full? If not, what would you need to do to use your skills properly?
4. What are your main hobbies? Are you spending enough time on them?

The above questions can provide a framework for assessing your current position, without being over-analytical. Feel free to add your own questions, but the key thing is to write down both the questions and your responses to them. These will form the foundations of your new life.

Balancing your life = balancing your time

The majority of people spend so much time doing things that are urgent that they leave little time for what is important. When this happens it leaves them unfulfilled, stressful and with a feeling that there are not enough hours in the day.

This is because they have forgotten that we “work to live” not “live to work”. More often than not it is the important things like attending a child’s sports day which are squeezed out by things like a business meeting which could have been missed or re-arranged.

It is, therefore, a good idea to plan the important things in as much detail as you would plan your work, rather than try and fit them into the small amount of time left from your work.

The idea of a time-log has been around for some time, but more often than not, it is used to assess work time – not a 24 hour period. So how should we allocate our time?

Maintenance

We can achieve little without our health, so the first thing to plan is the time that we need to look after ourselves. The main areas of maintenance are:

• Sleep - how much do you need and what are the effects if you have a sustained deficit of sleep?
• Exercise - if you do not have enough exercise built into your day (most postmen do!) you will need to allocate some time.

Leisure

This includes all of the things we want to do, including things with our family and friends. The main ones are:

• Relationships - allowing time for parents, children, partner, colleagues and friends
• Hobbies
• Social occasions
• Relaxation

Work

This includes working time, travel and any preparation which you do from home.

Many people work beyond their contractual hours; indeed self-employed people tend to work much longer hours than employed people, even though they theoretically have the freedom to choose. Most people would benefit from placing a limit on the time that they spend at work, in order that they could spend more time on the things that they would choose to do.

The core skills and attributes

There are 4 core skills which can be applied to all aspects of your life:

1. Planning
2. Organisation
3. Interacting with people
4. Processing information

There are also 3 key attributes which are invaluable in everything that you do:

1. Self-discipline
2. Positive thinking
3. Perseverance

1. Planning

The importance of plotting your course

Choosing what you want to do is the first step. Taking action to make it happen is another matter.

Research shows that people who set goals have a much better chance of achieving what they want than people who “make it up as they go along”.

Few people will start a journey without deciding where they wanted to go and what route they would take to get there. Nobody builds a house without first deciding what they want it to look like and having plans drawn accordingly.

It is, therefore, extraordinary that so few people conduct their lives with the same attention that they give a holiday.

Setting goals

Setting goals has a profound effect on how you live your life and what you do on a day-to-day basis. It works for a number of reasons:

1. The act of setting goals makes you think about what you really want to achieve.
2. Setting goals helps you decide what you need to do to achieve the things you want.
3. Goals act as a constant reminder to you about the value of the targets you have set; they inspire you if you are feeling low and “nag you” if you are spending too much time on trivia.

These are the important things to remember when setting goals:

1. They must be written – it is no use having them as thoughts. You need a formal record of them, so that they are your constant companion when you are planning your time.
2. They must have a time against them – it is of no value if you have a goal to “write a book” at some indeterminate time in the future. Say which year you will complete it and it will spur you to action.
3. They must be “reasonably realistic” – there is much advice around to “shoot for the stars” but be warned that whilst being ambitious is useful and spurs you to achieve, a goal which asks you to “jump over the moon” is likely to disappoint you and put you off setting goals forever.

Remember, setting goals is not something you do once in your life. You can revisit them as often as you like, setting short term targets to achieve your “big picture” plan. If you achieve an easier goal more quickly, you can always set a more ambitious one the next time around. This time you will be motivated by the fact that you have achieved your goals in the past.

Read your goals every week

Before you start your week, spend a few minutes reading your goals. Make sure they are neatly written or typed on good quality paper so that they take on the air of importance that they deserve.

When you read your goals, have the following questions in mind:

• Did I do enough last week to move towards my goals?
• If not, where did I fall short and why?
• What am I going to do this week to make progress?

2. Organisation

There are two principal skills required to organise your life or career:

• Organising your home and work space
• Time management

Organising your home and work space

There are 3 benefits of organising your home and work space:

1. Too many people waste time trying to find things in their cluttered environment.
2. The inability to find things creates frustration and stress, whereas a neat environment looks good and is very calming.
3. A tidy workspace makes you look more professional and is good for your career.

The concept of a tidy home and workspace is very simple and there are four tips to good organisation:

1. Keep as few things as possible “when in doubt, throw it out”. The more things you have, the more time and effort you have to spend organising or finding it.
2. Store things effectively. Follow the old adage, “a place for everything in its place”. Make sure you have cupboards, shelves, boxes, files – whatever is needed to store everything neatly and effectively. Buy the best that you can so that everything looks good and you are encouraged to use your storage media.
3. Put everything away as soon as you have finished with it. If you set something aside to “deal with it later”, you will find yourself becoming disorganised. The beauty of creating a place for everything at the beginning is that all you have to do is walk up to the right box or file to put something away – instant results and peace of mind.
4. Make a note of where you put things. If you find yourself struggling to lay your hands on things you may need a list of items and their locations. The format doesn’t matter; whether you create a simple computer database or have a little black book, the important thing is to have something to help you so that you don’t waste time.

Time management

Time has many similarities with money:

1. You can spend both time and money
2. If you spend them wisely, it brings a lot of benefits.
3. If you waste them, it is very demoralising.

Unlike money, however, on any given day, you have exactly the same amount of time as everybody in the world. How you choose to spend it is what makes the difference to your life and career.

There are 6 steps to managing your time effectively:

1. Find out what you are doing with it now

   Take a time log for 5 (preferably consecutive) days, including a weekend.

   Download a blank time log form. Make sure that you cover a 24 hour period, including sleeping time. Download a sample time log form.

   Most people are surprised to see how much time they waste.

2. Always plan the most important parts of your day before it starts

   You can plan it in the morning, but your resolve (and ambition) may be higher the night before.

3. From your Action List, identify the most important activities of the day

   If there are a lot of items on your list, identify the Top 6.

4. Plan the order of your day

   Make sure you have planned your most difficult tasks to coincide with the time you feel you are at your best.

5. During the day, make sure you start your work in the order that you have planned

   If you are interrupted, make a decision – do I have to deal with this unexpected item now? If not, carry out what you were doing and add the new item to your Action List. If you have to stop to deal with the interruption, set aside your current task and come back to it. (DO NOT pick up another task).

6. Motivate yourself

   Give yourself the fun and motivation of ticking things off your list.

3. Interacting with people

The majority of us interact with other people for much of our time; in our personal lives and during our work. We deal with customers, third parties, colleagues, managers or people who report to us.

Our interactions with people are the most unpredictable part of our work. In the world of human relationships, people do not always get their message over in the way that they would like, or the people receiving the message misinterpret it.

There are, however, several ways of cutting the odds against good relationships with people. These are the steps that we can each take:

1. Create a good first impression

   As the saying goes “there is only one opportunity to make a first impression”.

   The following top tips assist a first meeting:

   • Smile
   • Shake hands (if this is the custom for the country you are in!)
   • State your name
   • Make sure you listen to their name (most people do not forget a name – they just didn’t hear it in the first place because they were too busy shaking hands, smiling and saying their own name! There is nothing wrong with asking them to repeat it and, if you can, write it down.

2. Always ensure you are well groomed

   Few people respond well to somebody who has not bothered with their appearance or personal hygiene. They get the impression that this lack of attention might also apply to their work.

   Even manual workers, such as drivers or building workers, are encouraged to wear better clothes and to keep them clean. Nobody expects a building worker to be spotless, but there is clearly a big difference between a high visibility jacket which has been marked during a few working days.

3. Always be meticulously polite

   If somebody is being polite to you, it is no more than they deserve. If they are not, refuse to bring yourself down to their level; often you will find that your polite response defuses whatever was bothering them.

4. Smile often, make eye contact and listen

   All three things are necessary if you are to not only communicate effectively but also to demonstrate that you are sincere. There is little point in saying something nice whilst looking out of the window.

5. Never criticise a person – just criticise their behaviour if they need to improve

   It is important to separate the two because criticising a person undermines their confidence. It also fails to take account of the reasons for their mistake or failure (they may have felt ill, been worrying about a close family member or 1000 other things.

The number of ways in which we interact with people has increased dramatically and is likely to continue to do so. In order to communicate well in our personal and professional lives, it is worth considering the many methods, the part which each one plays and the tools which we need to use them.

In the following table we set out the possible ways in which people can communicate:

There are great advantages in learning and having access to all of the tools set out in the above table.

One key skill is the efficient use of a computer keyboard, to improve speed.

4. Processing information

Information is now much more readily available than it has been in the past. In the present age it is no longer a question of “how do I get information to make a decision”. Neither is it as simple as saying “money is power”.

The problem today is that there is so much information available; the difficulty is knowing how to process all the information.

There are 6 core skills which can help:

1. Assessing the value of information

   With so much information available and coming through your email system, it is invaluable to learn the skills of assessing the value of information. There are usually 4 things you should do with information:

   • Throw it! It is not useful or relevant to you, so dispose of it as quickly as possible.
   • Refer it to colleagues. It is useful, but not to you. The trick is to pass it to the appropriate colleague.
   • Act upon it. There are 3 things to consider. What action should you take? Should you do it now? It not, what time should you allocate in your diary and when?
   • File it. It has been acted upon and/or it will be useful to refer to it later. If so, file it in a well structured system and make sure it is entered as soon as possible.

2. Effective reading

   With so much information coming in during a typical day, effective reading has become a key skill; one which few people spend the time improving. If you can read quickly and understand information it is a considerable advantage.

3. Keyboard skills

   With so much information being entered in computers it is now an important part of your skills armoury to be competent at using computer keyboards and shortcuts.

4. Improving memory

   This is a useful skill even if there is a lot of information available online, because you may not always have the right tools to hand and it can save you time.

5. Thinking

   Too few people allocate time in their day to think and plan. It can be anywhere; it is up to you to choose your time and place.

   Many people fail to bring their sub-conscious mind into play. Random thoughts when you wake up or you are driving can be invaluable. Always have a notepad or a digital recorder by your side.

6. Problem solving

   Many people seem to have some aversion to the word “problem”. They think it is more positive to use the word “challenge”. We do not feel too ideological about it but a problem is defined as:

   Any thing, matter, person etc. that is difficult to deal with.

   That makes it a word worth using. If your business is going under, it’s a problem; if a member of staff is abusing another, it’s a problem and if your building just caught fire, it doesn’t matter if you call it a challenge or a problem.

   To solve a problem there are 4 simple steps:

   1. Define the problem
   2. Ascertain the cause of the problem
   3. List the possible solutions to the problem
   4. Analyse the solutions and choose the preferred solution