Interacting with People - Simply Put!

In the Marstan Guide Introduction to Personal Development, we said that interacting with people was one of the four core skills that can be applied to all aspects of your life.

The majority of us interact with other people for much of our time; in our personal lives and during our work. We deal with customers, third parties, colleagues, managers or people who report to us.

Our interactions with people are the most unpredictable part of our work. In the world of human relationships, people do not always get their message over in the way that they would like, or the people receiving the message misinterpret it.

There are, however, several ways of cutting the odds against good relationships with people. These are the steps that we can each take:

1. Create a good first impression

As the saying goes “there is only one opportunity to make a first impression”.

The following top tips assist a first meeting:

• Smile
• Shake hands (if this is the custom for the country you are in!)
• State your name
• Make sure you listen to their name (most people do not forget a name – they just didn’t hear it in the first place because they were too busy shaking hands, smiling and saying their own name!) There is nothing wrong with asking them to repeat it and, if you can, write it down.

2. Always ensure you are well groomed

Few people respond well to somebody who has not bothered with their appearance or personal hygiene. They get the impression that this lack of attention might also apply to their work.

Even manual workers, such as drivers or building workers, are encouraged to wear better clothes and to keep them clean. Nobody expects a building worker to be spotless, but there is clearly a big difference between a high visibility jacket which has been marked during a few working days.

3. Always be meticulously polite

If somebody is being polite to you, it is no more than they deserve. If they are not, refuse to bring yourself down to their level; often you will find that your polite response defuses whatever was bothering them.

4. Smile often, make eye contact and listen

All three things are necessary if you are to not only communicate effectively but also to demonstrate that you are sincere. There is little point in saying something nice whilst looking out of the window.

5. Never criticise a person – just criticise their behaviour if they need to improve

It is important to separate the two because criticising a person undermines their confidence. It also fails to take account of the reasons for their mistake or failure (they may have felt ill, been worrying about a close family member or 1000 other things.)

The number of ways in which we interact with people has increased dramatically and is likely to continue to do so. In order to communicate well in our personal and professional lives, it is worth considering the many methods, the part which each one plays and the tools which we need to use them.

In the following table we set out the possible ways in which people can communicate:

	Type	Method	The part that it plays
1.	Face to face contact	One to one	Personal or important peer to peer contact in business to make decisions in which trust is needed
		Group Meetings	Groups of people making decisions
		Speeches or conferences	One person communicating with many
2.	Live, visual, electronic contact	Video conferencing	To reduce travel costs and time but having some advantages of personal contact
3.	Live audio contact	Telephones
		Voice over internet protocol (VOIP)	Needs computer but gives cheap or free calls
4.	Live written contact	Twitter	Computer short messages
		Text	Mobile phone
		Live chat/messenger	Computer
5.	Recorded media (audio or video)	Video clips	Can be sent by email
		Audio clips	Can be sent by email
6.	Written records	Emails	Needs computer, PDA or mobile phone
		Letters	Hard copy or electronic
		Reports	Hard copy or electronic
		Weblogs	Needs computer

There are great advantages in learning and having access to all of the tools set out in the above table.

It is important to understand and consider the effect that each of these forms of communication has on the people that you wish to communicate with and to adjust your style to have the impact on them that you require. It is important that you get the "tone" right as well as the words that you use if you are going to have a positive impact.