Self Management - Simply Put!

In the Marstan Guide Introduction to Personal Development, we said that Self Management was one of the four core skills that can be applied to all aspects of your life.

If you cannot manage yourself then you cannot manage anything and it is likely that you will be buffeted by events; never achieving what you could, or wish to achieve. Self-management needs self-discipline. In essence, you need to:

• Decide what you want (or need) to do.
• Work out what you need to do to achieve it.
• Allocate the time necessary to carry out your planned actions.
• Get on with it!

Health

One of the most important things to achieve is to stay physically and mentally fit. This does not mean that everybody has to be an accomplished athlete; we all have different levels of inherent physical fitness and this will naturally change with age. However, you will use your mind to plan what you want to do and you are only likely to achieve your plans if you are healthy enough to do the things that you plan.

The good news is that there are only three things you need to do to improve your chances of remaining reasonably fit:

1. Make sure you get enough undisturbed sleep.
2. Ensure that you take regular exercise.
3. Eat healthily.

Rather than consider any extreme diets or exercise programmes, it is more important to make a number of correct choices daily, rather than embarking on something which you cannot sustain after the first few weeks. Look for very simple choices, such as:

• Walking to a shop rather than taking the car on this occasion. An errand can double up as an exercise programme and save you money as you will not use any fuel and do not need a gym subscription.
• If you need a snack, have a piece of fruit rather than something sweet.

Your mental health depends on a number of things:

1. Being kind to yourself. Do things that you want to do and do not just fill your life with duties and responsibilities.
2. Give yourself things to look forward to; book a holiday or a theatre trip. Give yourself the pleasure of anticipation for something in the future.
3. Think positively rather than depress yourself with worry.
4. Don’t become angry particularly about relative trivia such as something which somebody has said or being “cut up” by another car on the way to work. Learn to experience the wonderful pleasure of rising above such things.
5. Spend time with your friends and family because good relationships have a significant effect on your level of fulfilment and the absence of good relationships can have a very detrimental effect on your mental health.
6. Spend time with yourself. You are the only person that will be with you through every minute of your life. Make sure that you enjoy your own company and make time for yourself, even if only for 10 minutes a day. Enjoy the pleasure of silence!

The importance of plotting your course

Choosing what you want to do is the first step. Taking action to make it happen is another matter.

Research shows that people who set goals have a much better chance of achieving what they want than people who “make it up as they go along”.

Few people will start a journey without deciding where they wanted to go and what route they would take to get there. Nobody builds a house without first deciding what they want it to look like and having plans drawn accordingly.

It is, therefore, extraordinary that so few people conduct their lives with the same attention that they give a holiday.

Setting goals

Setting goals has a profound effect on how you live your life and what you do on a day-to-day basis. It works for a number of reasons:

1. The act of setting goals makes you think about what you really want to achieve.
2. Setting goals helps you decide what you need to do to achieve the things you want.
3. Goals act as a constant reminder to you about the value of the targets you have set; they inspire you if you are feeling low and “nag you” if you are spending too much time on trivia.

These are the important things to remember when setting goals:

1. They should preferably be written – it is no use having them as thoughts. Unless you live with your goals and naturally act upon them daily (like olympic athletes do) you probably need a formal record of them, so that they are your constant companion when you are planning your time.
2. They must have a time against them – it is of no value if you have a goal to “write a book” at some indeterminate time in the future. Say which year you will complete it and it will spur you to action.
3. They must be “reasonably realistic” – there is much advice around to “shoot for the stars” but be warned that whilst being ambitious is useful and spurs you to achieve, a goal which asks you to “jump over the moon” is likely to disappoint you and put you off setting goals forever.

Remember, setting goals is not something you do once in your life. You can revisit them as often as you like, setting short term targets to achieve your “big picture” plan. If you achieve an easier goal more quickly, you can always set a more ambitious one the next time around. This time you will be motivated by the fact that you have achieved your goals in the past.

Read your goals every week

Before you start your week, spend a few minutes reading your goals. Make sure they are neatly written or typed on good quality paper so that they take on the air of importance that they deserve.

When you read your goals, have the following questions in mind:

• Did I do enough last week to move towards my goals?
• If not, where did I fall short and why?
• What am I going to do this week to make progress?

Take action every day There is no doubt that the best days that we have are those in which we achieve what we set out to achieve. It does not matter whether it is work, a hobby or spending time with your family.

The least fulfilling days are those in which you go around in circles, you don’t get done the things that you wanted to and the day “just flies”. This leaves you with a feeling that your action list is getting longer and things are not under control. This is a significant source of stress.

The way to overcome this is to take action every day and make sure you can tick some good things off your action list.